Sometimes I get so confused

I finally have my emotions how I want them; detached. And I am happy, not happy actually, but content. And it's not nice because I refuse to be happy about things that would normally get me excited. I just look forward to certain things. Like prom, or vacation because I know either way I'm going and I can rely on myself and another person's actions don't affect the outcome. Which in a way is nice. But boring, and unemotional which is what I want...right