Day One of Recovery

I am a emotional roller-coaster, I don't know how I feel. Sometimes I am over it and happy to be getting a routine back and focus of myself. But other times I am a mess, I cry and question "why, what did I do wrong, what didn't I do right, Am I not good enough?" I cant help but to think these thoughts. I wish he knew what he has done to me. I am not okay to be alone right now and when I look around I have no one. I pray that he will realize the mistake he has made sooner than later.