to the world, and the people I put in danger this past sunday I am sorry, every night I spend hours thinking about how stupid I was and regret my decision every second of everyday.
to my parents, I am sorry for the endless expenses, worries, and trouble I give you im a fucked individual, I don't know how to make myself happy
to my sister, I am sorry for scaring you with my life threats, I cant fight the thoughts I have some nights and it seems to easy to give up.
to my friends, I am sorry I made such a negative impact of your st patricks day, im sorry you feel it necessary to insert you opinion and criticism in my life, relationship, and poor decisions.
to you, I'm sorry I made you the blame of all my poor choices, you don't deserve to be put in situations like that it isn't healthy for you and me. I can't stop thinking about how awful I was to you after we broke up, I had this stick idea that you would want me back right away and we both knew it was never gonna happen, but I continued to convince myself crazy. im so sorry you aren't to blame at all. I did this to myself and you were nothing but nice to me after everything, please just know that I don't hate you and don't mean any of the hateful, spiteful things I said to you Sunday, I am simply jealous you so easily cut those feelings off. I was jealous I didn't know how to do that. So I hated you that's how I did it and now I've messed my entire life up and have absolutely zero chance of ever being able to make you happy again.
to me, im sorry for not making the smart choice and staying home sunday to do my homework and study. I had plans to be productive but instead did someone a favor who most likely never ask me for a favor nor return a favor for me. Because its so easy being used, and everyone takes advantage of it.
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