I know it is early and all those feelings, emotions, and words are still sensitive. I can't take back what I said to you. I do truly hate you, but I do have love for you and your life. I have to hate you to move on, when I drink I cant deal with my emotions, I become extremely jealous and spiteful of you.
I was jealous you moved on and recovered. You made me feel like I wasn't important or worthy of maintaining our relationship. You dumped me so quickly after you promised to never break my heart but we both knew you were gonna hurt me no matter what. Despite how much I cried and begged you not to do that to me.
I don't think you were/are aware of how weak and vulnerable down here, you showed me a great time with great people, you showed me happiness, you made me happy everyday even when we were fussing. And then took it all away because of your selfish reasons. I trusted you with me and my heart and you couldn't care less.
I am wrong for the things I did to you, I regret ever laying my hands on you at mardi gras and st Patrick's day. I would go back to that night over winter break when I accused you of being unloyal and change that because that's when I started to doubt you leading to you doubting us.
Maybe we weren't right for each other or maybe we had bad timing...which ever it was I want you to know I believe in you, I see potential in your hard work and kind heart. If I don't ever get the chance to grow and succeed with you in the future I hope you don't ever let anyone bring you down or make you feel the way you made me feel.
Because I know I am successful and will be but lately I've been fucking that all up because of our break-up and that's not fair, I deserve some type of peace at mind or recovery from the emotional damage.
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